All You Need is Love....
Greetings, friends.
Last weekend we celebrated the wedding of my younger son, now 25 years old and very much a man. It was a beautiful, meticulously planned event, held at a gorgeous vineyard by the Bay of Fundy, near where the bride and groom met back in 2017.
As the mother of the groom, I was invited to share a reading as part of the ceremony; from the poems the couple had selected, I chose the classic poem "The Art of Marriage," by Wilferd A. Peterson:
The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating
gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner;
it is being the right partner.
As I slowly read the poem, I noticed the bride and groom gazing into each other's eyes, tears welling up at some of the lines, and behind them the whole audience listening with rapt attention, all of us knowing that the poem was offering such good guidance for setting out on the journey of marriage.
The ceremony continued with the solemn recitation of vows, which are still ringing in my ears as I muse about the importance of these spoken affirmations of love and commitment, witnessed by the family and friends of the couple who are joining their lives together.
As I wrote about in my memoir, and as my sons know well, my own marriage was not a success, though it lasted more than 20 years. Yet I don't regret my own open-heartedness as a young woman, my willingness to commit to doing my best to "be the right partner."
I too had a beautiful, memorable wedding and joyous celebration with family and friends.
Life is nothing if not risky. All we can do is our best, moment to moment, to embrace the glorious opportunities we are given in this lifetime, today.
The time-honored wedding vows are another form of "writing to right the world," giving voice to the best of our human capacity to love, honor and cherish each other, "till death do us part."
Off the page, in the messiness of the real world, relationships are complicated, as I'll be exploring in my three-session November online memoir workshop, "Telling the (Loving) Truth About Your Family."
I am so happy that both of my sons have married wonderful women; that they are loving, committed, strong young men who I know will do everything in their power to live up to their wedding vows.
Weddings represent the moment when soaring passion meets sober commitment, in a union that uplifts and transports not only the bride and groom, but everyone present to bear witness.
Do you have any wedding stories you'd like to share here? In the spirit of "writing to right the world,” the more uplifting stories we share, the better we can fortify ourselves to cope with these troubled times.
Cue..."All You Need is Love...."
with love,
Jennifer
Come write with me, in person and online!
The Art & Craft of Purposeful Memoir. October 3, 10 am - 3 pm, in person at Lunenburg School of the Arts, Lunenburg, Nova Scotia. Register here.
Magical Stories: Writing Under Greylock’s Spell, co-led with Audrey Kalman. October 11, 10:30 - 4 pm Eastern in person at Bascom Lodge, Mt Greylock, North Adams MA. Register here.
Telling the (Loving) Truth About Your Family: A Memoir Workshop hosted by Il Chiostro. November 3, 10 & 17, 9 - 10:30 am Eastern, online. Register here.
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Monte Velho Equo-Resort in Evora, Portugal, January 7 - 13, 2024. A week of dressage lessons on beautiful, well-trained Lusitano horses, plus guided writing sessions and plenty of time for relaxing and exploring the hill country of the Alentejo. Find out more and register here.
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