A Day of the Dead Salute to the Light
Trauma is not the only thing we carry from our ancestors....
After a seemingly endless sun-drenched summer, we're into the murky dawns and spooky twilights of late fall. It's the Day of the Dead, a day after Halloween and a day before my birthday—for me not a time for candy and costumes, but for quiet meditation on past, present and future.
Much has been learned in recent years about the impact of ancestral trauma on the present, and how we are able to pass our traumas on into the future, both through learned behavior and through epigenetics.
In thinking about my own life and family history, it's clear that as a woman of European Jewish heritage, there are huge traumas buried in my DNA and rooted in my learned psychology.
But on this Day of the Dead, I want to shift my gaze to the flip side of the coin of trauma—resilience.
Yes, my ancestors endured persecution, hatred and forced removal in the generations-long odyssey that eventually led them to cross the Atlantic with only what they could carry, buried in steerage as they braved the heaving seas to land in a place they knew only by rumor—America, land of freedom and opportunity for all.
They landed in New York, not knowing English, with no wealth other than their own innate intelligence and industry, and within a generation put down roots and established a future for the next generations of their families.
On my father's side, his grandparents—first-generation immigrants from Belarus who landed in New York and immediately got to work in the garment industry—sent their children through the public schools, all the way through law school, medical school, and in my Grandma Fannie's case, an MA in biology at Hunter College, by no means the norm for women of her time, even those who were born speaking English.
My grandma became a high school science teacher, and married Phil, a history teacher from a similar background. Together they explored the burgeoning workers' rights, union and communist movements of their day, unwilling to leave anyone behind in their own multigenerational thrust towards freedom--with the result that my Grandpa Phil was blacklisted during the McCarthy years and lost his teaching job. No longer politically active when I knew them as a child, they were the ones who, just before I was born, bought 14 acres of overgrown pasture and woods with a hunting shack on it, which my parents loved and stewarded to become the beautiful multigenerational family compound it is today.
My mother's ancestors on her mother's side landed in New York earlier in the 19th century, and were able to bring a bit more from their former home in Germany. My mom's grandfather established a men's haberdashery store near the port of Brooklyn, catering to the sailors, and he did well enough to own a narrow three-story house with a small backyard, which became home to three generations during the Depression, when my mom's mom, the beloved only daughter in that family, moved back in with her parents, bringing her husband and three children. My Grandma Mildred went to work in the war years and never stopped, bringing home the bacon and cooking it too as she cared for her parents and her children, including a teenage daughter with polio.
Yes, my ancestors brought trauma from the old country, which may have accounted for all of them dropping their attachment to religion--they came to the New Country to assimilate, adapt and thrive, and had no interest in hanging on to past sources of danger and persecution.
But clearly they also brought tremendous resilience, which kept previous generations going through all the tough years: persistence in the face of obstacles, a willingness to take risks and step boldly into the unknown in order to shape a reality that came closer to their dreams.
On this Day of the Dead, in a year when the looming US presidential election is unbearably fraught with warring visions of the America that could be, I salute my ancestors, whose faith in a brighter future carried them long and far and provided a solid foundation for my own growth these past 60+ years.
May I have the strength and clarity to bring the best of the prior generations into the future, letting go of the baggage that no longer serves us, and creating islands of creative peace where my granddaughter and all future generations can thrive.
It's Diwali today too, and New Moon. And so I close with a bow to the Light that sustains and restores us, no matter how dark the time may seem.
Resilience can be cultivated….
And one of the best ways I know how to do it is to take the risk of trying something—or going someplace—new!
That’s why I have returned to horseback riding, a passion of my childhood that I had let slide for 40 years…and why I am now leading writing retreats, some of which incorporate riding, to beautiful places in the world.
We have to take care of ourselves if we want to be of service to others!
My writing retreats are intended as creative recharges, a chance to learn and grow with kindred spirits in nurturing places.
I have three international writing retreats coming up in 2025—please join me!
Riding & Writing in the Azores
January 4 - 11, 2025
Join me for a magical week of Riding & Writing at Patio Eco-Lodge on Faial Island, Azores, an oasis of natural beauty amid ancient volcanic rocks and lush island vegetation.
Click here or the photo above to find out all the details about this affordable all-inclusive trip. Reserve your spot now!
Riding & Writing in Iceland!
June 2 - 8, 2025
Click here or the photo above, from my 2024 Riding & Writing retreat at Hestaland, Iceland, to find out all the details and how to reserve your spot on this awesome creative tonic of a trip!
The Art & Craft of Purposeful Memoir: Annual Tuscan Memoir Retreat
September 27 - October 4, 2025
Write, relax, restore your creativity in good company at a dreamy private villa in Tuscany! Click here to find out all the details and reserve your spot now!
Writing workshops you can count on to stimulate your creative spirit!
In my writing workshops, whether in-person or online, you get the benefit of my decades of teaching lively small-group, discussion-based college literature and writing classes.
My classes are interactive and thought-provoking, cultivating writing that is intuitive, generative and organic—emerging from within rather than based on an artificial structure imposed from without.
In my writers’ circles, I create a warm, welcoming atmosphere and carefully structured opportunities for instructor and peer feedback that is non-evaluative but highly effective and productive. Sharing is encouraged but always optional, and confidentiality is a must.
My students are often surprised at how much they are able to produce in my workshops, and how deeply they are able to tap their own inner reservoirs of stories, images and metaphors. Try it and see for yourself!
Friends, it’s my pleasure and my passion to support you as we stretch towards living our lives creatively and to the fullest.
The motto of my author consulting business is “Writing to Right the World,” and the motto of my book publishing business, Green Fire Press, is “Books that Make the World Better.”
If these intentions resonate with you and you are working on a book, or have one in mind, don’t hesitate to get in touch!
Supporting creative people bring their work more strongly out into the world is one way I try to make the world better.
Bringing forth the best of our ancestors for our descendants -including my oblique ones, and all our readers - an exciting and worthy life task!
I really enjoyed this glimpse into your Ashkenazic ancestry. I often think of my own people making the decision to sail for America, leaving so much behind. They were all so courageous. I see your face in many of the photos and have a new sense of you, your sons and granddaughter in this writing.